He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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