my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
