Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
