Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
