he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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