im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
