How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
