They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
