just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
