I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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