I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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