That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
