Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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