I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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