it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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