we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
