By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
