Buhtt sex?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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