she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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