Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
