she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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