I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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