nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
