His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
