Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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