I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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