So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
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Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
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This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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