we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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