actually, I'm a sock model
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
