My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
whose ass print is on the piano?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
