i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She's like a pop up book from hell.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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