Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
