the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
