She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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