You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
