the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
