i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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