PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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