Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
