Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
