I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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