his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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