Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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