i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
And then the night went full on bisexual.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
