I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros, bitch!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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