Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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