i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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