spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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