Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
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His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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