I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
