my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize