i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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