Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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