not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
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if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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