video games are the ultimate cock blocker
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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