Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
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Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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