You really coming over, don't trick.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
