there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
