Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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