I hate all girls vehemently.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
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I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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