How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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