The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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