Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion. http://tfl.nu/nlg6
  Replies (4) Good night (2655) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius http://tfl.nu/w3wu
  Replies (32) Good night (12746) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop http://tfl.nu/zan9
  Replies (18) Good night (650) Bad night (2591)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  im trying to make cookies in the george foreman

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): im trying to make cookies in the george foreman http://tfl.nu/otmc
  Replies (18) Good night (4800) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now. http://tfl.nu/lhag
  Replies (41) Good night (1421) Bad night (6058)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  We stopped her at 12

  (708): View more from Illinois

  12 shots? Or 12 midnight?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Which answer would freak you out less

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): We stopped her at 12 (708): 12 shots? Or 12 midnight? (630): Which answer would freak you out less http://tfl.nu/edb4
  Replies (5) Good night (5708) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (653): View more from

  I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (653): I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver. http://tfl.nu/za76
  Replies (7) Good night (1677) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco. http://tfl.nu/8qs4
  Replies (11) Good night (2255) Bad night (1488)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/4b20
  Replies (7) Good night (559) Bad night (1456)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks. http://tfl.nu/uggh
  Replies (24) Good night (1338) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right? http://tfl.nu/9mi0
  Replies (18) Good night (2084) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!! http://tfl.nu/q83i
  Replies (3) Good night (1162) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will. http://tfl.nu/1dfb
  Replies (0) Good night (608) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes. http://tfl.nu/e45r
  Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (194)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed. http://tfl.nu/wzcc
  Replies (2) Good night (180) Bad night (332)

Randomize