I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dating After Heartbreak
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.