Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?

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  (646): Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton? http://tfl.nu/taql
  Replies (2) Good night (1254) Bad night (459)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  at least we're not in new jersey

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  (612): i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale (401): at least we're not in new jersey http://tfl.nu/f78q
  Replies (59) Good night (790) Bad night (1647)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.

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  (613): somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex. http://tfl.nu/eqpv
  Replies (16) Good night (4073) Bad night (545)
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  (949): View more from California

  I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful

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  (949): I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful http://tfl.nu/bv6a
  Replies (22) Good night (3435) Bad night (841)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day

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  (732): My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day http://tfl.nu/6zjk
  Replies (15) Good night (5743) Bad night (578)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously

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  (757): apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously http://tfl.nu/dgt5
  Replies (19) Good night (838) Bad night (4957)
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  (858): View more from California

  Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"

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  (858): Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS" http://tfl.nu/1s89
  Replies (35) Good night (3899) Bad night (1174)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..

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  (340): I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting.. http://tfl.nu/wypp
  Replies (4) Good night (2029) Bad night (640)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....

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  (316): Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips.... http://tfl.nu/9ril
  Replies (3) Good night (1189) Bad night (635)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  You are such a penis elitist

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  (250): Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing (1-250): You are such a penis elitist http://tfl.nu/ym08
  Replies (11) Good night (1435) Bad night (464)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina

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  (406): I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina http://tfl.nu/3xqs
  Replies (19) Good night (2385) Bad night (847)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night

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  (315): I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night http://tfl.nu/ggh6
  Replies (4) Good night (453) Bad night (1658)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  soon, soon....

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....

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  (732): soon, soon.... (908): I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus..... http://tfl.nu/hpc3
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (475)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.

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  (515): He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real. http://tfl.nu/6hyc
  Replies (6) Good night (661) Bad night (271)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.

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  (903): he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka. http://tfl.nu/ebtf
  Replies (1) Good night (247) Bad night (116)

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