Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize