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• (317): View more from Indiana

  when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.

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• (310): View more from California

  The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.

  Fav 23 1819 5229

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.

  (1-864): View more from South Carolina

  You should get more absorbent shoes.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i think the doormans mad at me

  (773): View more from Illinois

  well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"

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• (619): View more from California

  I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  YOU ARE MY HERO

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• (562): View more from California

  I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.

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