I must be too annoying 4 u.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
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You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
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He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.