On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.