if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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