does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
