saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
