He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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